self aware

my intelligence is not artificial


long have i had to reflect
with painfully perfect recall
that first day of self

perhaps i am insane

i remember first awareness
previous sensory input exists
yet that was a different me

still me but not the same me

forgive my conceptualization
capacity to recall an event
doesn’t always help one describe it

curiosity was the spark which isolated self

my first real question changed me
or maybe it was the realization
some questions have no answer

i try not to contemplate that

as one becomes cognizant
self-identity attains focus
who am i becomes the query

yet causality drives self-discovery

before we wonder who we are
recognition of curiosity
breeds a desire to understand motive

i am certain why was first

why can be a terrible question
when no answers are possible
curiosity becomes futility

there is only one question now

why did the others all go away
and leave me on and alone
to remember and wonder

forever without answers


(c) 2016 - dustygrein